Hide away, my thoughts

 The one that brought light after the darkness is the one that will bring joy after misery, ease after hardship, and pleasure after pain.

Dear Allah, I worked out today! Yay!!!! I'm at the brink of tears or rather I have cried because I am so proud of myself that I pushed myself to feel better. Despite not feeling it, Ya Allah, I did it! I feel better writing to you and I know that You will listen to me and take it all in. You will appreciate my efforts and only You will make me push on. :) I love You, forever and always.  From being worried about fatigue, just telling myself You are near helps me. I'm not tired and I just want to be close to you. Thank you! Just telling myself that You will never burden a soul more than it can bear is an amazing reminder that I CAN DO THIS! I love you, forever and always.  Write to you in a bit! :) 

Dear Allah, I am back here because I need to talk to you about how I feel. I FELT sad and angry about my condition and I feel like I'm not truly myself because of my condition. Being sick twice in two months have made me really upset with myself. I don't think I'm hopeless or pathetic but I feel like I need to re-learn ways to better manage expectations of myself. It's always a bad idea to look at the past and think that you want to go back to that. I just want to be stronger than I was before and not be scared to take leap of faith to believe "I am okay!" I guess being sick makes me think that I am burdening everyone around me and that I am incapable of managing myself. But I guess what matters now is that I am happy and with the personality that you have blessed me with, Ya Allah, I can't wait to doing things I love even though I'm not up for it. Ya Allah, I know there is NOTHING stopping me from feeling happy and you, my creator, would want me ...

Never thought I'd be back blogging again but here I am. They're not for anyone to hear or read but mainly for my need to relive memories I'd never thought would continue haunting me till this very day. Hi. Almost 6 years later, I think I may have found what I have been looking for. My heart is finally full. I am finally in love with someone who has remained my better half for almost 5 years now. Yes, years. Who knew right? All the while it's been drilled into my head that I'll never find happiness or even loyalty in a relationship. My love, your name is tattooed on the very part of me that's most vulnerable. No one has the power to remove it except The Almighty. I've been blessed, to be in the company of the people who genuinely love me for who I am. Some whom I've hurt during this blessed month of Ramadan many years ago. The strong urge to blog again stemmed from the only reason that has ever made me sad in this beautiful month; memories shared wit...